Pinky Up or Pinky Down

P.S. you can always get help it doesn't come natural to keep the pinky in ;)

Nearly every time I am out, I see someone drinking their wine, tea, or coffee with an extended pinky. At first, I felt the desire to hang my keys on their finger because I couldn't understand the purpose, but then I noticed that they seemed to think it was a fancy or sophisticated gesture.

Being that I was taught the complete opposite when I was a child and I find it a quite odd and unnatural way to hold a glass or cup, I felt the need to do some research to understand. One thing I have learned is to never judge anyone because you can't possibly understand all of the context to their content. Making the effort to understand someone else's experience and perspective is key to being a true gentleman.

What I learned (from a historical perspective) is that there are two reasons that this may have been passed down from generation to generation:

- It became a trend in the middle class when people were able to stop working the land. It was a way to show they didn’t have dirt under their (deliberately long) pinky nail. Their objective was to show that they were stepping up into society. 

- It was also associated with the new upper middle class that wanted to distinguish themselves from their servants. They were trying to touch everything that they were served with less than their servants. Thus, they grew the habit of holding a pinky away from their glasses and cups.  

In both cases, people were just trying to find value in their economic place in culture. By holding the pinky out, they were able to distinguish themselves to be above the lower class. Sadly, these reasons only show a greater disparity and divide among people. 

I am sure the reason most people do this today has absolutely nothing to do with these reasons, but I do believe it is good to ask ourselves why we do the things we do. As humans, we are only products of our input, and much of that input has come from a time that we shouldn't want to immitate. So, asking ourselves why we behave or think the way we do and digging for some truth on the subject is one of the ways we can rise above an old system that isn't really getting us anywhere. 

Generally speaking, the central rule is that etiquette stems from good manners, which in turn, stem from what’s socially comfortable. Knowing the Right Thing To Do makes people feel comfortable. Being at ease is what is most socially correct, and etiquette is just a guideline to help you be at ease. 

From etiquipedia, Clise Etiquette, Emily Post, to the Historic British Etiquette books they all agree; the proper way to hold a tea cup is with one or two fingers of the right hand put through the hole of the cup handle, while balancing the cup with your thumb on the top of the handle. Your other fingers should be curled beneath the handle.

So, next time someone says “pinkies up!” you can inform them that the Queen herself drinks with her fingers curled in. 

You can also look at more theories at Quora.